Recent News
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Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda
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Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States
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30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle'
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New 'Get The Fuck Outta The Road' Program Aims To Increase Pedestrian Safety
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Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza
Our Dumb World
Bangladesh
God’s Practical Joke
Framed by the Ganges and Brahmaputra Rivers, Bangladesh is home to some of the richest, most fertile soil in the world. That’s the setup. The...
- Video: Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak
- Opinion: I Won't Ever Let The Position Of County Surveyor Go To My Head
- Video: McCain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists
- Son Discovers Dad's Welcome Back, Kotter Spec Script While Cleaning Out Attic
- Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Area Man Reports
- New 'Get The Fuck Outta The Road' Program Aims To Increase Pedestrian Safety
- Video: McCain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists
- Walters Had Affair With Senator
- 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle'
- Video: Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak
- Economic Stimulus Check Burned For Warmth
- Opinion: I Couldn't Help But Notice Your Product Hasn't Been Endorsed By Anyone Yet
- New 'Get The Fuck Outta The Road' Program Aims To Increase Pedestrian Safety
- Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States
- Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four
Features
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Sunday Magazine
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Stockwatch
Shares of this defunct energy company continue to be worth nothing, so stop looking through the stock reports, you're never getting that money back.
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National News Highlights
Roll over locations for news
- FARMINGVILLE, NY—Drunk pollster Andre Huget just called to see how things are going with what's-his-name.
- DALLAS—An evening of siphoning gas yielded an unexpected benefit for Luke Neely, who discovered that he genuinely loved the taste of premium unleaded.
- HARRISONBURG, VA—Following a few successful trials, Will Hoving vowed that he would never again look both ways before crossing the street.
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Sunday Magazine
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Opinion
'Sorry, I’m 63 Hours Late, Guys'
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Stockwatch
Stock prices for the stationery maker surged on Monday with the news that superstar mathematician John Nash just signed a $90 million deal to endorse their new Angle Nash protractors.
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National News Highlights
Roll over locations for news
- SAN JOSE, CA—A laptop computer containing the personal information of 3,000 patients and staff of the local St Vincent's hospital was used for its intended purpose.
- DOTHAN, AL—Eventually, somebody is going to have to come forward and claim ownership of that pig in the cowboy vest.
- SCOTVILLE, MI—Bob McNichol, 25, gave himself a haircut after practicing in his imagination first.
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Sunday Magazine
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Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant
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Report: Al-Qaeda Allegedly Engaging In Telemarketing
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Fed to Make Interest Rates Undulate Relaxingly
IN FOCUS: Israel
IN FOCUS: Al-Qaeda
IN FOCUS: THE FED
Issue Highlights
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Trial Lawyer's Closing Statement Lifted Straight From 'JAG'
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Fat Suit No Longer Fits
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Last Corner In Iraq Turned, Forming Dodecahedron
From our News Partners
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CNN
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Slate
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AV Club
